Humor in folk tales is an integral part of folklore. Funny fairy tales will help not only cheer up, but also distract from routine activities for both adults and children. In them, adults and peers of the young reader, animals and birds find themselves in ridiculous situations. In addition to laughter, these works will unobtrusively teach children the ability to dream, empathize, notice and use wordplay in their speech. Read with pleasure, laugh and rejoice with your favorite characters!
Cones
Mikhail Plyatskovsky
The puppy Yelp lay in his booth and watched as the kid Marmeladik and the calf Rogalik played. And they played like this: they would run up to a pine tree, hit the trunk with their heads as hard as they could, and the cones would fall off the branches. The one who shot down the most wins.
Tyavka couldn’t stand it, he got out of the booth and went up to his friends.
- And I want to play with you. Do you accept?
“We don’t feel sorry,” said Rogalik.
- We accept! - Marmeladik said.
The kid knocked down five cones. Calf - as many as ten.
The puppy rushed towards the pine tree - and how he moved his head along the trunk with a running start. Even sparks fell from his eyes.
- Oh? Hurt! – he whined. Then the puppy Tyavka touched his head with his paw and asked his friends:
- Please look at what jumped up on my head...
Little goat Marmeladik says to him:
- Eh, we completely forgot that you have no horns at all!
And the calf Rogalik licked the puppy with his tongue and said with a sigh:
- You have... - a bump. One, but my own... And although I have ten, they are all pine. So don't worry and don't be upset?
Funny stories from kindergarten
Kindergarten stories cannot but cause a smile, and sometimes uncontrollable laughter. See for yourself by reading the following funny stories:
"You can't fool children"
We invited parents to a New Year's party in kindergarten. All the kids in festive outfits next to the Christmas tree were looking forward to the main thing - the visit of Father Frost and the Snow Maiden. And so, having waited for this moment, they fell silent and stared at the fairy-tale hero with suspicion. He told them in a “menacing” voice:
-Children, do you know who I am?
They answer in unison:
- Yes!
- Well, who am I?
- Marya Ivanovna!
The parents laughed for a long time after that.
"No change"
A mother picks up her daughter from kindergarten and asks her:
- Nastenka, how was your day in the garden?
“It’s bad, mom, Vika hit me.”
– Did you hit her back?
She, after a little hesitation, answers:
- I didn’t have any money with me.
"Everyone understands the word"
During a lesson in the senior group, the teacher says to the children:
– Children, today we will talk about etiquette. Do you know what this is?
A whole forest of hands grew in front of her.
The teacher thought to herself: “What smart kids,” then she said:
- And what is it?
The children answer almost unanimously:
- Cat food!
"Dream Role"
The teacher prepares the children for the matinee and addresses the kids:
- Boys, you will be gnomes with us, and you girls will be beads.
One girl begins to sob, shedding a tear:
- I don’t want to be a bead.
-And who do you want to be?
She sobbingly answers: A man!
Who will speak first
The old man and the old woman became so lazy that one day they argued about who should wash the pot. They decided that this would be done by the one who uttered a word first. Read with your children from the fairy tale who will lose their temper first and why. She teaches hard work, wisdom, reasonable actions, the ability to make concessions to loved ones, and condemns pride and stubbornness.
Once upon a time there lived an old man and an old woman. Lazy and lazy. They transferred all kinds of work to one another. They need to lock the hut with a hook by nightfall - they are having an argument.
- You should lock it.
- No, for you.
Unlocking it in the morning is another argument.
- Unlock it for you.
- No, for you. I locked it yesterday.
So they decided to cook porridge. After arguments and discord, the old woman cooked a pot of porridge. They sat down, ate porridge, they needed to wash the pot. The old man and the old woman began to argue again. The old woman says.
- I cooked porridge, and you need to wash the pot.
“No,” says the old man. Since you cooked, you should wash it. But I have never washed pots in my life and will never wash them.
Children's funny stories: listen online for free
Funny stories are adored by all children. True, not always children and their parents have the opportunity to read them. In such cases, fortunately, you can resort to a good alternative. You can listen to funny stories, which is convenient, not only on the road, but also under some circumstances at home. On the Internet you can find many funny “life” stories and popular voiced works of fiction. Among them, beloved by millions, are “If I were an adult” by V. Yu. Dragunsky, “The Living Hat” by N. N. Nosov, “The Secret Becomes Revealed” by V. Yu. Dragunsky, “Vasya the Coward” by M. M. Zoshchenko, “ New Adventures of Pif" by Oster G.B., "The Enchanted Letter" by Dragunsky V.Yu., "A Kitten Named Woof" by Oster G.B., "Four Wishes" by Ushinsky K.D.
Of course, listening to books cannot completely replace reading them, but it is useful for the child. The listened text can be discussed, which is not only a method of checking its understanding, but also a way of developing active speech and establishing emotional contact between the parent and his baby.
Directly while working with an audio recording, children will have the opportunity to build a plot line in their minds, imagine the events discussed in the story, getting involved in them with the same emotionality that is observed when perceiving the text while reading it, when watching animated films. The value of listening carefully to funny stories should not be underestimated.
Lord of Lords (English fairy tale)
One girl was hired to serve an eccentric elderly gentleman. He asks her:
- What will you call me?
“Master, or master, or whatever you wish, sir,” the girl answers.
“You should call me “lord of lords.” What would you call it? he asks, pointing to his bed.
- Bed, or bed, or whatever you like, sir.
“You should call it a “vacation retreat.” And this? - asks the gentleman, pointing to his drawers.
- Pants, or trousers, or whatever you like, sir.
“You should call them “fanfare headlights.” And this? he asks, pointing to the cat.
- Cat, or kitty, or whatever you like, sir.
“You should call her “Felicia Whiteface.” What would you call it? he asks, pointing to the water.
- Water, or moisture, or whatever you like, sir.
“You should call it “wet mundia.”
And this? - he points to the fire.
- Fire, or flame, or whatever you like, sir.
“You should call it “red rooster.” And this?” he points to his house.
- House, or mansion, or whatever you like, sir.
- You should call it “the vastness of heaven.”
That same night, the owner is awakened by the frightened cry of the maid:
- Lord of lords! Get off your resting place quickly and put on your headlights and fanfare! White-faced Felicia knocked over the candle, so that if you don’t run after Mocromundia right now, the red rooster will burn your entire mass under heaven.
Magic candies
The girl Katya loved sweets very much, but her parents forbade her to eat sweets so as not to disrupt the digestion process, gain excess weight, or spoil her teeth. However, Katya did not understand her parents’ concern and quietly stole sweets from the cupboard that stood in the adults’ room.
One day, a girl looked into the closet and saw a bag of chocolate bars. Katya, as usual, took a couple of pieces and ate them. The sweets were so delicious that the little girl couldn’t stop and ate it all! Then I went to the nursery to play with dolls.
Mom returned from work and discovered that there were no bars. I asked my daughter: “Didn’t you touch the candy?” Katya shook her head negatively. Mom pretended to believe it. At night the girl could not sleep for a long time, her stomach hurt badly. She wanted to get up, but she couldn’t, her legs wouldn’t obey her. Katya saw sweets everywhere, whispering: “Why did you deceive your mother? Now you will become candy and they will eat you!” In the morning, the girl turned into candy, which her parents found and ate, remembering their naughty daughter.
See also: Horror stories and very scary stories, why this is a unique element of culture that is successfully developing in modern society
Owl wise little head
Once upon a time there lived not a tsar-prince, not a king-prince, not a sage and not a wizard, not a magician and not a hermit, not a nobleman and not a nobleman, not a cautious politician, not a minister, not a military man, not an arrogant official, not a fat merchant , not a mellifluous singer, not a doctor or a healer, in a word - just a plowman, a daring peasant named Burachok. And he had a mind that was not royal, and not noble, and not lordly, but, as they say, the most peasant mind.
Once Burachok was in town, went to the market and bought a goggle-eyed owl there for a few pennies as a gift for his son. He walked with her back to his village. By evening Burachok was tired and began to think about spending the night. He looks: there is a light in the hut nearby. “Let me take a look there,” he thinks. Maybe good people will let you spend the night.”
He goes to the window and sees: on a table covered with a white tablecloth, there is a pie, fluffy and ruddy, just asking to be put into your mouth, and next to it is a roast goose and a bottle of honey. A fat young woman is sitting on a bench, knitting mittens, singing songs, waiting for her husband.
“You can’t say anything - the dinner is suitable!” - thought Burachok and knocked on the window: knock-knock!
- Who's there? Is that you, Metek?
- Let the passerby warm up, beauty.
The hostess began to fuss, running around the hut: in an instant the pie flew from the table into the kneading bowl, a bottle of honey into the chest, and a roast goose into the oven.
Funny stories from the lives of young children
"Smoked salmon"
Mother teaches child how to read correctly. He was not good at reading, and he constantly skipped classes - either to the toilet, to eat, or to rest. So mom decided to make it more fun and interesting. They started going to the cafe. Where is the reading here? And this is where the most interesting part comes in. They didn’t just buy anything for the child in order to “earn” a treat; he had to read its name. Of course, the smart mother took her child to different cafes so that he could not learn the name of one dish. Everything was fine until one moment. One day the boy said that he wanted “finished salmon.” For several minutes the whole cafe looked at the mu-mu with a face twisted with shame, the waiter holding back his laughter and the child who did not understand anything. It turned out he just wanted smoked salmon pizza.
"Give me your finger"
The father shows his daughter an ancient trick - he “rips off” his finger. The daughter asks: “How do you do this?” Dad shows the trick again - the daughter still doesn’t understand: - Look, I’m showing it for the last time. The father does the trick again, and the daughter says: “Stop!” Show me the severed finger.
"Sacrificial Animal"
One day, the kindergarten teacher was playing a regular game, taking pictures of animals and asking about each one: “What is this animal useful for?” This time she took out the chicken card. All the children began to answer very logical options: - Feathers. They stuff pillows with them - We eat scrambled eggs for breakfast. Isn't it made from chicken too? - But we recently fried kebabs, my mother said that they were chicken. One girl distinguished herself more: - Exactly! I have remembered! My parents and I watched a movie where chickens were sacrificed!
"Lifetime Cross"
My friend has a son. He is 3 years old. She became pregnant and, when she was admitted to the maternity hospital, her son was sent to his grandmother. It so happened that he did not arrive when his friend was being taken away and, accordingly, he saw his sister already at home. I was there too, we celebrated the baby’s first birthday. The son ran around with other children and played, and then approached his mother and asked: “Mom, there’s some new girl there.” Where are her parents?
"Pirate"
I have a son, he is almost 4 years old. He is kind and almost never plays pranks. It was Sunday, about 9 o'clock in the afternoon, and I had just woken up. I lie with my eyes closed and realize that someone is poking me in the eye. The feeling was not pleasant, so the whole dream went away immediately, and I opened my eyes. It turned out that it was his son. I ask: “What are you doing?” Stop doing that! - Mom, don’t be angry, I read about pirates, they’re so cool. I want you to be a pirate too, and I to be your cabin boy
"Good Child"
I have a daughter, and for some reason she never liked fairy tales. She doesn't read and doesn't listen. She asked her husband to read something to her, gave her a book by the Brothers Grimm, and went into the kitchen. It was already late in the evening, and I was going to go to bed, at the same time checking on the progress in instilling culture in the younger generation. I hear my husband’s voice from the room: “Okay, okay, the birds pecked out their eyes. I think what they’re reading there, I asked you to be gentler.” Now the child will not sleep, he will have nightmares. I’m already running into the room, when suddenly I hear an answer from my kind daughter: “Wow.” This is how you should read fairy tales, I will never believe that they turned out to be good.
"Such women..."
My husband and I wanted to go to the seaside, but we understood that our five-year-old son would not survive a long trip. Therefore, it was decided to leave him with my mother. She is a strict but fair woman. We had a great rest, we return home, take grandma, and sit down at the table. I started asking my son how it all went. He says: “Oh-oh-oh, I almost died.” He would soon have run away from home. Where did you find such a woman?
"Communal payments"
There is one song by Alla Pugacheva, which was played on the radio when I was a child. It's called "Debtor". So, until today I heard the following lines there: “You owe me for gas, you owe me for light.” I was constantly wondering what this had to do with it. Every time I heard it as a child, I fell into thoughts about how love and housing and communal services are connected. Today I realized that the lyrics of the song are not about gas and electricity, but about sunset and dawn...
"Sweet tooth"
I know from my own experience what happens to teeth from the abundance of sweets, chocolates and other sweets. That's why I struggle with using them. One day I bought a large bag of sweets for tea - we had run out at home. So my son found them, and when I saw it, he ate almost half the bag. I ask: “Why did you take the candy?” - Because there are hands. You can't argue with that...
"Love"
My daughter is 4 years old and goes to kindergarten. I pick her up as usual, we are late for an appointment with the hairdresser, and she is looking somewhere. I tell her: “Come on quickly, stop looking.” She replies: “Yes, wait.” I won’t see Nikita until tomorrow, let me just admire him
"Pigeons"
I have a very inquisitive son, he answers all questions himself, and then checks his guesses. Sunday evening. We sit on a bench with a loaf of bread, throwing crumbs to the pigeons. The son was silent for a long time, about 15 minutes, lost in thought. I ask: “What are you thinking about?” He answers: “I look at the pigeons, they are all shaking their heads.” Do you know why? To support my son, I decide to ask his opinion: “No, I never thought about it.” Why do you think? – I think they have little feather headphones, and they play such cool music right into their heads. Now I want to be a dove too!
"Father Frost"
My daughter is 8 years old, and she is now at the stage where she doesn’t yet know that we put gifts under the tree, but she is already starting to ask tricky questions about Santa Claus. And now, another New Year has passed, she walked around thoughtfully all week, my husband and I already thought that something had happened. I ask: Did you like the gift from Santa Claus? - It’s a good gift, but I’m thinking that Santa Claus can’t fly around the whole Earth alone. Who is helping him? - Of course, elves. He has an elf in every house, he comes to the secret distribution of gifts and then puts them under the tree. - A-a-a-a, I understand. Our dad is an elf!
Hare
A poor man was walking through an open field, saw a hare under a bush, was delighted and said:
- That’s when I’ll live in a house! I’ll take this hare, kill it with a whip and sell it for four altyns. With that money I will buy a pig. She will bring me twelve little pigs. The piglets will grow up and produce twelve more. I'll kill everyone, I'll save up a barn of meat. I’ll sell the meat, and with the money I’ll start a house and get married myself. My wife will give birth to two sons for me: Vaska and Vanka. The children will start plowing the arable land, and I will sit under the window and restore order: “Hey you guys, I’ll shout, Vaska and Vanka! Don’t push people too hard at work, you didn’t live in poverty yourself!” The man shouted so loudly that the hare got scared and ran away, and the house with all its wealth, wife and children disappeared.
Fedya and the dogs
The boy Fedya loved to tease the yard dogs. Returning from school, the boy took a stick and ran after the mongrels, who were already afraid of everything. The neighbors scolded Fedya for his strange hobby, but to no avail.
One day the boy saw an elderly woman feeding the dogs. He laughed and said, “Grandma, what are you doing? These are stray dogs that need to be chased away.” The woman replied: “How evil you are! Soon you will become like a dog." Fedya grinned and went home. The next day he took a stick and wanted to drive the dogs away, but he couldn’t. Fedya turned into a dog. Now he is constantly being chased by the neighborhood boys.
Hey, bring in the horse (Italian fairy tale)
The driver Petruchio got married. After the wedding, he brought his young wife into the house and said to her:
- Now you and I, Rosina, will live well! I will work, you will manage. I'm not afraid of work. Even if you order me to drive a horse from dawn to dark, it will do nothing. But once I get home, that’s it! The rest is up to you. I’ll just stop the cart at the gate and shout: “Hey, bring in the horse!” - You hurry up and run out.
- Here's another! - said Rosina. - I’ll start tinkering with the horse.
- How can you not bother with her, because you need to unharness her, feed her, and give her something to drink! So, as soon as I shout: “Hey, bring in the horse!” “Yes, I’m telling you,” Rosina interrupted her husband, “that I won’t touch the horse.” This is not what I was taught at my mother and father’s house.
“Don’t worry,” said Petruchio, “I’ll teach you everything.” You will bring the horse into the yard. . .
- I won’t enter it!
- That is, how can you not enter it if I shouted: “Hey, enter it!..”?
- You scream, but I don’t move.
“Oh, Rosina,” said Petruchio, “don’t make me angry, it’s better to bring in the horse.”
- I won’t enter it! - Rosina shouted.
Then Petruchio also shouted.
- Enter it now!
- I won’t enter it!
- Enter!
- I won’t enter it!
Neighbors came running in response to the noise and began asking the newlyweds:
-What are you doing? What is the dispute about? Petruchio began to explain to the neighbors:
- Yes, my wife doesn’t want to help me. I tell her:
“Bring in the horse,” and she says: “I won’t.”
“Aren’t you ashamed to quarrel over this?” - said old Giuseppe. - Let me bring in your horse. Where do you have it?
“Yes, you see,” Petruchio hesitated, “we don’t have a horse yet.” I'm just about to buy it.
Scary children's stories with funny endings
"The Monster from the Can"
One day, relatives came to visit us and brought many different gifts from the village, as well as food for sale, including sour cream in a can. During the day I looked at it in surprise, thinking about how many people could eat it all. My younger brother and I were sent to sleep in the same room; towards midnight we woke up from strange sounds coming from the kitchen. At first it was a knock, and then a terrible grinding sound. It was scary to get up, but curiosity won out. My brother and I went to the kitchen and turned on the light. Then the adults came out to us. Terrible sounds came from the can. Dad, plucking up courage, decided to check it, opened it and a moment later took out our cat Vaska, all wet and white with sour cream. Needless to say, I was awaiting a reprimand for not looking at the sour cream during the day and closing the can without noticing that our purring dog was feasting on it.
“So this is the meeting”
One night our grandmother went to the restroom. She decided not to turn on the light in the corridor, so she moved forward, not relying on her poor eyesight, stretching her arms forward. Suddenly she came across something warm, large and velvety, which should not have been in front of her. Frightened, the grandmother screamed throughout the apartment. Mom and I jumped up, ran out into the corridor, turned on the light and saw a frightened grandmother and father in front of us. Dad later said that it wasn’t only Granny who was screaming, he also screamed when he felt someone’s icy hands on his shoulders.
"Furry Ghost"
When I was little, my older friends decided to play a trick on me, scare me with scary stories. After that, I didn’t sleep all night, listening to all the sounds in the pitch darkness, but, to be honest, I didn’t hear anything. In the morning, as I was getting ready to leave the room, I heard a suspicious rustling behind the door. The scary stories told by my friends immediately surfaced in my mind, but there was nowhere to go, I couldn’t continue sitting in the room. Grabbing a plastic toy stick, I sharply opened the door and saw in front of me my cat, with his front paws and muzzle stuck in a slipper, sliding in this position in a game that only he could understand on the floor.
How the master hatched a foal (Latvian fairy tale)
Once upon a time there lived a gentleman who loved horses more than anything in the world. There was only one thing on his mind - to get horses like no one else had. As soon as he hears about the horse fair, he drops everything and goes there, even though the lady herself is dying. Once this inveterate horseman went to the fair and met a peasant with a cart of cucumbers.
- What are you bringing? - the master asked him. And the peasant, the cunning one, answers:
“I’m bringing eggs that can be hatched into foals, the likes of which no one has ever had before.”
“Show me,” the master asked. The peasant showed it. The master chose the largest of these eggs and asked:
— How much does such an egg cost? And the peasant, the cunning one, answers:
- Three hundred rubles! The master pulled out his wallet and counted out three hundred rubles. And as he was leaving, the peasant finally looked back at the master and said:
“You need to put the egg in a pot and sit on it until the foal hatches.” And if anyone asks about what, he must answer only one thing: whoa! With that they parted, and each went his own way.
The master, returning home, immediately sat down to hatch the foal. The lady asked him why he was sitting for so long, and the master barked: whoa! Such an outlandish answer made the lady very angry, but, knowing what kind of husband she was, she left him alone - let him sit there. She ordered him to bring him food and drink, but she didn’t say another word to him. The master hatched and hatched, sat on the potty for three or four weeks, but never hatched anything. The master became completely depressed, and finally got tired of hatching the egg. He got angry, grabbed a pot of cucumber, ran into the forest and in his anger threw it into a pile of brushwood. Then suddenly a hare jumped out of a pile of brushwood and galloped into the forest. And the master shouts after him:
- Mob, mow, little coward, mow, mow!
But the hare got scared by the noise, ran at full speed and disappeared into the thicket. The master was sad, became sad and went home. And on the way he met the same peasant from whom he bought a cucumber for three hundred rubles. The master told the peasant that he had completely hatched a foal that no one else had, and, like a fool, he threw it away himself. And the peasant, the cunning one, listened, listened and said:
“That’s what happens to all the fools who don’t even know how to hatch a foal.” The master returned home and told the lady about his bitter fate. And when she heard what a fool her husband was, she didn’t want to see him anymore.
Funny stories about a leader in a children's group
"Coincidence"
At an open lesson, junior school graduates answered various questions from the teacher in the presence of proud parents. The lesson was devoted to the theme of friendship, team cohesion, one of the questions was: “Children, what unites you all?” The kids, thinking about what they had in common, hesitated, and eventually the main activist of the class raised her hand. Pleased with herself, she stood up and declared: “We were all born in the year of the Monkey,” and then added something that made all the adults laugh: “Marya Ivanovna, just think what a coincidence this is.”
"Bad idea"
It happened in high school. At the last lesson, the teacher told us that she needed to go to the teacher and if she did not return after 15 minutes, we could go home. As soon as it came out, our main ringleader came up with a “brilliant idea,” which we all unanimously picked up. So we started holding the door so that if the teacher returned early, he couldn’t get into the class. As they knew that this would happen, the teacher came and began to pull the door handle after about 5 minutes. When she finally got to class, our “15 minutes have passed, good luck!” did not work. We were all left after school to wait for our parents, who were called by the teacher to have a serious conversation about our behavior.
"Helpers"
School, 3rd grade. Sasha became sad and sat down at his desk during the big break, lowering his head sadly. His classmate Dima noticed this and decided to find out the reason for his bad mood. As it turned out, Sasha was sad because of mathematics, the next lesson, in which he could not get a good grade. Dima decided to convene the whole class to collectively help his friend “pull up” a subject that was difficult for him. There was enough time to solve one problem, chosen at random from the textbook. During the lesson, Sasha was called to the blackboard, the teacher asked him to solve the same problem that he and the class had been working on during recess. As a result, the boy still received a bad grade; the problem was solved incorrectly. This didn’t upset Sasha very much, he said: “1 point was enough for me, but give the second point to the class.”
